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I'm Kendra, and I'm here to help you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. Welcome to your people.

How I Handle Screwing Up My Goals

How I Handle Screwing Up My Goals

Photo source: Death to the Stock Photo

I don't like setting stupid goals. My default is to be the best at everything (eye roll), so January is a naturally tempting time to perform for acceptance.

Fresh starts are catnip to a good girl

But there is value in living a life where we come alive, fueling our bodies and souls with the best medicine so we're present for our people and communities. So I'm not knocking goals; I set them, too. I'm just learning to not terrorize myself with judgment when I don't meet them perfectly.

I once heard a woman say that her greatest moment of being a stay-at-home mom was when her husband unexpectedly came home for lunch with a couple of co-workers and she was sitting at the table reading a magazine because her kids were asleep, her house was clean, and she had exercised that day. Goals met. They were shocked at how together she was. 

And that was the greatest moment.

It sounds good, guys, but it's a trick. Most likely, that's the moment she compares against all other moments, and we can guess how that turns out. We don't always do what we intend to do, and instead of rolling with it, we call the day and ourselves "bad," double-fisting Oreos while we give up on another year of goals. 

Here's the lesson, friends. Here's how you handle a day not going your way:
Don't judge every day against your best day. 

Best Days are unicorns. If you have one, enjoy it. But it doesn't change how valuable you are, how good of a person you are, how qualified you are to do the work you've been called to do. And it should definitely not be the yardstick for every other day after. 

Most days aren't unicorns; they're stray dogs. They might be cute or ugly, huge or tiny, lost or homeless, friendly or afraid. If you approach a stray dog with the expectation of regal perfection like you would a unicorn (because we all run into unicorns on our neighborhood walks obvs), you'll be disappointed. And maybe even get bitten. But if we approach every day with kindness and grace, we'll have a better chance of seeing each dog day (ha!) for what it is in that moment.

Every day is unique. Every day has something to teach us. No day is perfect, no matter how accomplished we feel.

And even a perfect day has a seedy underbelly; it's waiting to make us feel badly the next time we screw up. 

So quit berating yourself when you forget to do yoga or stick to a cleaning schedule or miss your kid's preschool play because you didn't read the newsletter. (I mean, I'm just guessing that's something that might happen; that's never happened to me.) It's life, guys. We can't manufacture the perfect day.

So now that our heads are full of images of unicorns and stray dogs and seedy underbellies like the average blog post, let's wrap this up by chanting a mantra Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret style. (Remember "we must - we must - we must increase our bust"? Throwback, y'all. Just add it to the underbellies and dog bites. We've already gotten too weird.)

Don't judge every day against your best day. 

Don't judge every day against your best day. 

Don't judge every day against your best day.

Amen. 

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