When You Pretend to Like the Ride
Life is a roller coaster. We've all heard it, said it, and definitely felt it.
Twists and turns, ups and downs, exhilaration followed immediately by revisiting your breakfast at 400 feet. We love knowing what to expect, and roller coaster lives aren't too giving in that department. Still, the surprise is what keeps life exciting, right?
But what about when your life feels more like a ferris wheel?
It's the Groundhog Day of carnival rides. You go in a circle. Over and over. The speed never changes. Neither does the view. Hate me, but I think ferris wheels are lame.
Last night, I prepped the April pages in my Bullet Journal, making a list of all the things I hope to check off over the next month. Then I remembered... I'm having a baby.
For those into pregnancy details (skip ahead to the next paragraph if not), I'm due April 17th based on my cycle. ::shudder:: Why does that word freak me out? But based on Annie's weight and measurements, I'm due the 4th. And a week ago, I was already 2cm dilated which, based on my first two pregnancies, is a David-Copperfield-level magic trick. My boys had to power through a fortress; my daughter might just fall out in the car.
All that said, I'm one roller coaster loop away from landing squarely on a ferris wheel that isn't running out of juice anytime soon. And it's scary. The repetitive life that awaits me already feels a little suffocating, and in an Instagram world of inspirational quotes and mamas "cherishing every moment," I feel like a leper. I don't want a ferris wheel life. Real talk, I want a funnel cake life, but for today's analogy, I'd choose roller coaster any day. At least there, something is happening.
Maybe you're there, too, slowly spinning and going a little crazy. Yours might not be baby-shaped, but it's spinning all the same. Sure, the easiest sentiment would be to "enjoy the ride" and "soak in the view," and some of you are bonkers better at that than I am. But that's not my default. My default is, "When is this thing gonna be over so I can get some Dippin' Dots on the way to my own attraction?"
Per usual, it seems that real life lies somewhere in the middle.
Don't feel pressured to accept optimistic platitudes on days when the ferris wheel feels like a punishment, but don't resent it so much that you miss the little girl winning her first teddy bear or that dude accidentally spilling soda on his girlfriend. I know there's much to see as long as I keep my eyes mostly on what's around me. Too much roller-coaster-dreaming stops me from ferris-wheel-seeing.
We can be honest about the repetition; today might be beautiful, and tomorrow might not. Just be honest, take a breath, and remember that truth is more important than pretending to always like the ride.